What football team do you support? Liverpool

Joined Nottsborough (year): 2001

Favourite Nottsborough Player / why?: I love them all

Favourite Band(s): Stone Roses

Favourite TV Programme: Only Fools and Horses

Favourite Animal: Grovey

Fittest Bird: It has to be Kelly Brook, quality!

Captain’s Log: ………… One of the most passionate men ever to play football, Matty rejoined the club after a year in the wilderness and had an instant impact. With the tightest jeans and the longest, pointiest shoes around, Schnorbitz now has a partner in fashion crime although we suspect Matt’s shoes are simply to help with his goal kicking.