What football team do you support? Le Arsenal

Joined Nottsborough (year): 2002 (I think)

Favourite Nottsborough Player / why?: Matthew Arnold. Not only do we share similar sartorial ideas (bad ones) he also shares the name of my local comprehensive school in Staines along with my favourite Victorian poet and great preacher of social and spiritual regeneration

Favourite Band(s): Rubber, elastic, alice, Aid,

Favourite TV Programme: The Mighty Boosh, BBC London Weather, QI

Favourite Animal: The one from The Muppet Show / Baby Giraffe (I’ve been told I run like one)

Fittest Bird: Kestrel / Scarlett Johanssen / Kirsten Dunst / American Bald Eagle

Captain’s Log: …………. Schnorbitz continues to dumfound the football and fashion worlds alike. With seemingly limited footballing ability, he remains without a shadow of a doubt one of the best defenders in the AFA. With apparently no lights in his bedroom, he continues to don some of the most eclectic outfits ever seen in any changing room anywhere in the world……ever.