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Nottsborough Res 3 Salesians Res 1 Saturday 28th January 2012
Welcome to the jungle.
The plains of Tolworth were crisp and fresh as Paul’s two Dads cantered merrily towards their Saturday haunt, laughing heartily at their son’s claims he might be getting a girlfriend. But their chipper to and fro wouldn’t last long. As one dad froze with wide eyed alarm so, instinctively, did the other. Edging nervously back between a Golf and an Astra they looked on in horror, a primal fear gripping Nottsborough’s favourite dads – a new dad was in their dugout.
Rory’s Dad gave a satisfied grunt and lazily wafted the same fly away that had been pestering him for a while. It didn’t matter, he liked his new digs, flies or not. The capture of the Nottsborough home dugout had been relatively straight forward, he was pleased. Shooting a last quick glance in all directions he was finally satisfied, and dropped with haughty aplomb to the ground. Reaching for a banana he now reclined nonchalantly, time to watch his arrogant young silverback stomp arrogantly around for 90 minutes.
The Nottsborough Reserve squad had been shuffled slightly from the week before, but all were game to take on a strong Salesians pack. Pre game chatter around the watering hole echoed that of previous weeks with Captain Briggs, a rare horn billed chimp, stressing the need to stick to basics and avoid dung fights at all costs. Fussy old goat Lea then bleated the same message, only slightly more eloquently. Damn him.
The contest started at a good pace with both flocks advancing meaningfully into the opposition territory, before getting startled and chased back to their own. This cagey battle for domination continued in earnest until the deadlock was broken mid way through the first half. A languid but effective ball from Richardson’s Aardvark nose fed skipper Briggs on the left. Using the amazing coiled power of his horn-bill, Briggs flicked the ball on to release flouncy gazelle Prosser in to the Salesians box. Skipping through unchallenged Prosser started flapping his stubby little tail provocatively. The Salesians keeper became so enraged at the sight of Prosser’s batsun hole winking at him that he dashed out to eat him. Prosser escaped by a whisker but the referee deemed the attempt on his life a penalty, despite acknowledging he was a total ponce and deserved to be eaten. Briggs’s horn bill coolly slotted. 1-0.
Meanwhile Paul’s dads had crept silently to the back of the dugout and were staring at Rory’s dad through the Perspex. After 52 years and a son together, their bond is almost telepathic. It had taken them 40 minutes to creep slowly and silently from behind a nearby Zafira, now it was time for action. Charging round unsighted their heads butted the resting flank of Rory’s dad and launched him, limbs flailing, in a tumbling heap from the dug out. He’d barely stopped rolling before springing in alarm to the roof of the nearby clubhouse to rub his side and stare with furrowed brow at what the hell just happened.
Meanwhile the teams had truffled back to their watering holes to blither mindlessly about the first half. All-in-all not bad. The defence had coped well with a couple of dangerous predators at the top, and in the middle some stealthy prowlers had been kept at bay. Mitic’s graceful giraffe had led the back line well with fussy old goat lea charging round his legs, manically bleating his support. Giant worker ant Eamonn has scuttled up and down effectively one side of them, while Rikard’s Aardvark nose swept away any danger on the other. Horn bill chimp Briggs called for much of the same, fussy old goat Lea was distracted chewing on a cone, much to Briggs’s relief.
Second half, Salesians came out roaring. Prosser had been seen fluttering his long gay lashes at them as he flounced on to the pitch which had got them all screaming mad. A few minutes and several waves of pressure later and spastic horse Bowman got spooked and charged mindlessly at the edge of box - free kick to Salesians. A well worked move and an unstoppable shot flew in, despite the impressive wingspan of albatross White. 1-1.
Considering they’re a bunch of feral animals, Nottsborough’s season has been characterised by a remarkable calm and poise. This is epitomised by Deano’s giraffe, and it was only a matter of minutes before he’d nodded Nottsborough coolly back in front. Briggs’s horn bill lashed in a dangerous corner, animals from both sides threw themselves wildly through the air to connect, Prosser deliberately threw himself backside first at any loose horns, and all the while Deano waited calmly at the back post chewing slowly on a leaf. Waiting for the right moment, he casually stooped his giant neck and popped the ball in the net. 2-1.
In the furore Rory’s dad had swung with renewed purpose and malice to the top of the dugout. Paul’s dads, foolishly assuming they’d vanquished the dad competition, hadn’t noticed and were now fully immersed in the game. As they went to celebrate the second goal with their signature head butt they were caught off guard. A giant silverback hand clamped each by a horn, before they knew it they’d been tossed back over the dugout and in to the car park, narrowly missing some warthogs by the netball courts. Rory’s dad slumped back down in to the dugout and shot a haughty grunt at Tortoise Brian, who didn’t seem much of a threat as he hadn’t moved from the touchline all game (he’d actually not moved from that spot for 20 years).
Nottsborough 2-1 up and most were growing in composure. Not, unfortunately, wither-legged Buck Eddie Datta though, who had started running rings round the opposition in midfield - but not in a good way. His fully formed leg had gone in to overdrive and started propelling him round circles, his wither leg stabbing out wildly trying to slow him down. In between breaths he was still heard trying to tell everyone how good he was.
Aside from this the Nottsborough ecosystem was working in harmony. The raw power and dangerous charging of spastic horse bowman was in balance with the flagrant mincing of gazelle Prosser. The bizarre circles of wither legged Eddie was working well with the manic chimping of horn billed briggs. But it took the arrival of new animals to inflict further damage on Salesians.
Spastic horse Bowman had been taken round the back of the clubhouse and shot midway through the second half, leaving young panther JT to slope on the pitch in replacement. Prosser’s little pink Gazelle lipstick willy poked itself out watching this happen, the combination of horse snuff and young panther overwhelming him. Dirty felching swamp-rat pilcher had also been dragged on to the pitch to replace wither legged Eddie, who’d lost control fully and was spiralling out of the game reserve via the rugby pitches. Ben Tickes, who’d been dug out of the first team’s fur, had also come on and bedded himself in at right back.
These changes bolstered the pack and forced more damage, with snake Snakobs slithering in for an excellent 3rd. Until then Paul’s dads had been standing stormy faced in the carpark. Damn, that silverback was dangerous, and really arrogant. It explained a lot about Rory, his arrogant silverback son. They’d been humiliated, and quite literally put in their place - behind a VW campervan near the old changing rooms. But in the space of a few minutes everything would change. First arrogant silverback Rory injured himself, hurting his foot stomping arrogantly around. The jungle only knows strength, and Rory’s dad was looking on in disgust as his son limped around. He looked more like that ponce prosser than a proper arrogant little silverback. Second, Paul’s dads’ son snake Snakobs showed prowess, and prowess wins prizes. Slithering past a helpless Salesians defender he had expertly lashed in Nottsborough’s 3rd.
Renewed confidence, a silent look, a celebratory headbutt, and they were charging again. This time Rory’s dad saw them coming. He wearily switched his gaze to his crippled son, then looked down and sighed. What a crap day out. Rory, for all his arrogant apery, was finished. The netball warthogs were eyeing him greedily from the sideline, they’d always fancied him and now came to slather excitedly as their match was over. But this time he couldn’t get away. After mutilating his groin they would trample him to death. What a let-down. And now these two old campaigners were coming to give him hell. And the fly from earlier was back. Sod this. With a defeated grunt he stomped away, just seconds before Paul’s dads came crashing through the back of the Perspex.
In their excitement they’d forgotten to look where they were going. Shaking shards of plastic from their heads they glanced around the dugout - empty! Although not entirely sure how, they’d done it. This time they decided against complacency and choose to spend the remainder of the game back to back, moving in a slow circle. They would only see half the remaining game each but it was worth it.
In the end they needn’t have worried. Nottsborough triumphed 3-1, Rory’s dad didn’t return, and it was bowman horse-meat hot-dogs all round at the nearby watering Goals. Their son’s team were still top of the mound and in impressive form, even if their nearest rivals had winched more up the hill after beating some nearby horsemen (sorry).
AOM – a lot of great performances but Deano’s giraffe takes the plaudits, commanding at the back and a crucial goal.
Nottsborough 4 Carshalton 2 Saturday 21st January 2012
Two Dads. One Cup (left to win)
This is the 2s. Three captains, two Dads, and one Brigg-adier. At this point in the season, we’re either on the cusp on glory, or following El Captaino to our almost certain death. What is certain is that whether you’re on the pitch or not, this is one treat of a team, where benching is often a cloud with a rather golden lining when the compensation for not starting is an audience with Colin and ‘Dad 2’ (arguably the lusher of the two Dads)
Having two Dads is a weight on any man’s mind. A fate marginally easier than having two mums. But how do you fulfil the impossible dream of satisfying two men at one time? This is a cross ‘Pabs’ bears. Only good enough to be Deputy Head Boy, when Snakecobs isn’t truffling for c**t in our beloved Clapham Grand, rumours gained steam this Saturday that he manages the upkeep of Dad 2’s Tottenham Hotspur memorabilia collection – 300 signed shirts, 43 Spurs time pieces, and every home game programme since 1967 if you’re asking. Colin just watches.
Frankly, the Two Dads are merely the main act of joyousness on the 2’s bench. Gainfully supported by Matt Webb who has been attending with increasing frequency of late, turning the heat up on his brethren Si, in the ‘Who is the better Webb stakes?’ While George Bowman openly snacks on a current bun in his perennial battle against Diabetes, and the prospect of losing a foot at any moment.
On the pitch, the starters were seemingly dealing with this fixture against Carshalton with an ease and conviction that a Man Utd would dispatch a Wigan or Bolton. Early goals from an OG, and a Briggs penalty put us 2-0 up, allowing the two Dads to park football matters momentarily to reflect lovingly on their 52 year friendship. Great men. Great Dads.
Surprisingly, and somewhat worryingly, as the Tolworth dugout turned into the tent from Brokeback Mountain, we dropped our standards and allowed Carshalton to get in behind us on occasion, leading to a goal against the run of play. A penalty quickly balanced the books to see the first half end at 2-2. Could we throw away this victory? Could we throw away this season? As a team, we need to recognise that as we stand, we have no trophies, we are nothing. We’ve got the girl at the bar, and we’re whispering sweet nothings into her ears, with one hand on the thigh. We’ll only be remembered when she’s seen hobbling out of our gaff knickerless in April. Scoreboards don’t have asterixes.
As the tent was unzipped to observe the second half, Notts played with their characteristic calm, and industry, and were rewarded midway through by a goal from ‘Pabs’. Breaking into the 6 yard box, and unwilling to swing a left, Snakecobs sent the diving defender one way, and the keeper the other as he buried the ball into the net with his right. 14 goals from 14 odd games is a phenomenal return. If any man deserves two Dads…….
With the game nearing conclusion, a pair of new boots got their first goal of the campaign with an assist from the foot of Rory O’Brien. 4-2. Thanks for coming.
Team: White; Webb, Lea, Grant (Mitic), Collins (Richardson); Holden (Bowman), Datta, Briggs ©, Prosser; O’Brien, ‘Pabs’.
MoM: O’Brien’s approach play, and movement more than adequately made up for the loss of Taylor to the 1’s. However, Ted Datta’s first full 90 mins for the 2s for 19 months edges the award. Coming back from the injury he has suffered, to fit back seamlessly into the engine room, is worthy of note. Welcome back Teddy. Drinks on you (probably not….)
Nottsborough 7 Merton 0 Surrey and Kent Cup Saturday 14th January 2012
Nottsborough 2s march on...
Saturday saw Nottsborough 2s facing a potentially tricky Surrey & Kent cup tie against Merton, who despite their mid table standing in the league below proved tough opponents in both league fixtures last year. At stake was a place in the quarter finals and conditions at Tolworth couldn’t have been better.
Despite plenty of appropriate clichés about not taking this game lightly being said before the game Nottsborough seemed quiet and perhaps a little lethargic in the warm up. It should therefore not have been a surprise to see Nottsborough start slowly and concede a good chance in the first minute. A uncharacteristically wayward header from Briggs saw Merton's left winger pick up the ball and put Merton's lively centre forward through on goal. Despite much heavy breathing from Nottsborough centre half stalwart Lea the Merton player was unlucky to see his shot bounce off the foot of the post and out for a goal kick.
After that early chance Nottsoborough started to feel their way into the game by increasing the pressure on the ball when not in possession, with both Briggs and Pilcher imposing themselves on the centre midfield battle. From this platform Nottsborough started to get the ball down and out to the full backs.
After a couple of half chances/long range shots Nottsborough's first real chance came when Rory was fed a through ball following one of his characteristically well timed runs into the channel. He reached the ball in the box just before Merton's onrushing keeper who collided with him, conceding a penalty. Following last week’s miss from spot by Pilcher captain Briggs stepped up (with surprisingly little protest from the ever 'confident' Rory) and slotted the penalty with little fuss, striking it low and hard to the keeper's left.
Nottsborough grew in confidence from this goal and increased the tempo of the game, with Prosser and Holden ( who's performances are improving considerably each week, having been described earlier in the season as possibly the most unfit man in the SAL) making good runs with the balls down the flanks.
It didn't take long for Nottsborough to create another chance, Eamonn and Prosser linked well down the left before finding Briggo deep in Merton's half. Briggo looked to find Prosser in Merton's box with a deft pass with the outside of his right boot. Merton's full back did well to cut out the pass under pressure from Prosser only to undue his good work by having his square pass in the box cut out by Rory, who took a good first took and fired the ball into the bottom corner with his left foot.
Merton were to show more sloppy defending straight off the resulting centre kick, with a wayward pass played across the back being easily cut out by Jacobs, who coolly carried the ball into Merton's area unopposed and slotted the ball past the keeper. Although much maligned for his success rate in South London's 'glamorous' night spots, Paul has shown consistently since breaking into the team that his finishing on the pitch is not to be questioned.
Based on the balance of play Merton will have felt aggrieved to be 3-0 down with thirty minutes gone and responded well by retaining some possession in Nottsborough’s half and forcing a number of corners and free kicks. Merton should have scored with at least one of these set plays, hitting the bar once and missing narrowly on a second occasion.
Throughout the game Nottsborough defended set pieces very poorly and should have been punished for this. With the exception of Rolfie (who soldiered on for 65 minutes despite suffering from what sounded like a bout of pneumonia) none of Nottsborough’s players showed the desire to actually attack the ball and win the first header on defensive corners and set pieces, something they will have to address if they are serious about winning the SAL intermediate league title. As readers will appreciate, when it comes to defending set pieces getting set up right with the opposition being marked appropriately is important, but unless the individuals marking show the desire to meet the ball first and clear it you have got no chance.
Despite these scares Nottsborough dragged themselves back on top after a few minutes and in patches showed the quality of football they know they are capable of, with Eamonn and Prosser again catching the eye with some good link up play down the left hand side. Nottborough were rewarded for their improvement with a fourth goal on the stroke of half time. Lea played a ball through the heart of Merton’s defence and Pilcher ran past the offside Rory to latch onto the ball and calmly convert the resulting one on one with the keeper.
The second half played out similar to the first, with Merton at times applying some pressure, particularly on set pieces but then being caught out by individual errors at the back, resulting in them conceding another three goals in the half. Beckett replaced Prosser on 60 minutes and bagged a delightful toe poke along a header late in the game. Ted replaced Holden on about 65 minutes and looked assured in possession. Great to see Ted back in the fold following his long lay off and he will no doubt play his part in the side’s second half of the season. Grover also replaced Rolfie on 65 minutes and promptly got booked for going through the back of one of Merton’s midfielders on the half way line. Pleasing to see that vet’s football has not decreased Grover’s combative edge! The scoring was rounded off by a Jacobs tap in.
All in all save for the defending on set pieces a reasonable display from Nottsborough who played some good football in patches and were clinical in front of goal. My Man of the match goes to Rory, who despite only getting one goal made good runs down the channels, showed for the ball to feet throughout the game and took his goal well.
Polytechnic Reserves 0 Nottsborough 6 Saturday 7th January 2012
A sexy six of the best
Nottsbrough second team’s football offering is very similar to their womanising.
At fullback Rikard often strays into a delirious world of his own. Cultured, methodical, a technician, but there is occasionally the propensity to commit a phenomenal aberration.
Lea never stops looking at the bigger picture, giving his partner the right encouragement at the right time, and reasserting dominance when necessary, with the introduction of (an) enormous lunging tackle.
Jacobs is busy, ferreting around, never standing still, and never giving up on a lost cause, no matter how fruitless and depressing the chase appears to be. A true old school competitor, hungry for the next chance only seconds after converting the last.
Nick Green makes a hell of a lot of short sharp runs. Answering manic screams without a seconds thought. A tiring pursuit which may ultimately cut a glittering career down in mid flight.
Rory never ever suffers self doubt. Arrogant, the archetypal selfish predator – no man should ever turn their back on him, as inevitably he will have shimmied in and gobbled up your opportunity with consummate ease.
Prosser doesn’t know what a great hand the lord almighty has given him. An opportunity to roll his sleeves up and smash into a fantastic chance to score is often overlooked in exchange for the easy life, choosing instead to silently hang around with Eamo in acres if space.
As captain Briggs gives everything, but his overtones are often ignored in exchange for the stability and glamour provided by other more senior suitors. They say that he would lick protein off Tom White if Tom asked him politely, although if he did, there is a strong likelihood that Tom would be found whispering sweet nothings in bed with Martin the following week.
The rest of the group can be summarised with the following: passionate, a strong willingness to throw caution to the wind, occasionally unreliable, but yet, almost always, winning.
And so, after the Christmas break, this band of brothers returned to action at Poly in the SAL. Nine wins and one defeat was some return for the first half of the season, but yet the slither of daylight between Notts and their challengers was slender, Norsemen and Winchmore only trailing by a few points.
The squad list looked slightly lighter than usual – Deano was out after a freak post Christmas power pull, Rory was at a wedding, and JT was called up to the first team. To compensate, Bowman was back in the fold, having only being given a warming by the police for angrily slamming his rubiks cube into his mother’s abdomen.
Nottsborough started the game slowly, going long too often, crowded out by Polys 4-5-1 formation. However, it wasn’t long before the first clear opportunity was created. Prosser, weaving in from his left wing position was clipped from behind. He tumbled, the ref pointed to the spot. To the distain of Tom White, Pilcher grabbed the ball. No goal since 22nd October did nothing to shake the former centre back’s confidence. Sadly, all he could shake was the woodwork, the bar still rattling as Nick Green failed to convert the follow up.
Notts did not have to wait long to make amends. Poly’s preposterously high and zig-zagged back line first penetrated by the lively Bowman and then by Jacobs for the second. The slightly younger of his Dads celebrated on the sideline, whilst his Aunty/Mother gushed with pride in the clubhouse.
As half time approached Notts continued to exert pressure going forward, whilst defending with professionalism and assurance thoughout. Webb is now match sharp and Grant worked well with Lea at centre half. Richardson had a cool head and a competent touch – two fingers up to all those who suggest that it was the Grand that ultimately destroyed Joe Holden’s career.
After half time Nottsborough started as they meant to finish, Bowman charging through and scoring with an exquisite chip. Green then made it four, signing off for a three week absence with a cool 40 yard finish from a keepers clearance. That’s four for the season for Green, five for Pilcher and two for Briggs and Prosser. An all inclusive night out on Datsun awaits the top midfield scorer.
As Poly descended into anarchy Jacobs cooly slotted in his second and Nottsboroughs fifth. Becket, a man usually more buried in admin than team mates adulation, nodded in the sixth. A great story, concluding a good man’s road to recovery from a terrible injury.
Norsemen’s draw put the icing on a great day for Notts. Dreams of the double continue........
Team: White; Webb (Briggs 65); Richardson; Lea; Grant; Green; Pilcher (Beckett 60); Prosser; Collins; Bowman; Jacobs.
Man of the Match: All the defence played well, albeit under minimal pressure; Bowman takes it though. Great goals and a real timely boost to the squad.
Alleys Old Boys 3 Nottsborough 4 Saturday 3rd December 2011
Nottsborough reserves keep on bouncing.......just
A tanned Whitey, Briggo on a bicycle, Chris Foy's brother refereeing, the clash of the titans (two very small one's) and a last gasp winner - Saturday the 10th December 2011 had it all.......
Briggo's beer swelling brigade (apart from JT, who has such an important job that he has to be on top form at all times, with the exception of last week) arrived at Alleyns Old Boys in a bouyant mood - after last weeks 'bouncebackability' performance at Carshalton, surely nothing but three points was going to be the outcome - even Whitey was back between the sticks, having become the best goalkeeper in the history of amateur football, simply by spending two weeks in South Africa, and not even notching I must add......
The pitch was not up to scratch, especially by my standards (I being the most arrogant motherf***** in south London - according to the most arrogant bastard on the continent - Dean Mitic - he's so arrogant he's gone all 'continental' - no doubt he'll be wearing gloves and a snood next Saturday) and as such the game started scrappily with a lot of aggressive tackling and pushing and shoving in the middle of the park. This didn't suit us and the pacey Alleyns forwards started to impose themselves on a slightly out of sorts Notts defence - what with Deano looking like he'd been brought up in the Dordogne and Richardson sweating like a peado in Toys 'R' us, after just 'popping out' the night before. Even Whitey (the greatest thing since sliced bread) was losing his marbles - karate kicking an Alleyns forward 10 yards outside his area - luckily Mark Foy was too stupid to realise it was probably a goal scoring opportunity and didn't even caution the shot stopping supremo. An assured pre match warm up had turned into frantic start to the game.
Pretty soon Alleyns' dominance paid off and after a good move down their left flank, the ball was swept into the box and a Alleyns midfielder 'popped out', sorry popped up, at Ricardo's back post and finished with aplomb - 1-0 Alleyns.
Somewhat shell shocked, Notts failed to produce a reaction and pretty soon after the first goal, Alleyns were awarded a dubious penalty. The Alleyns forward was driving at the heart of the Notts defence from the right hand side (not the left hand side - so really Deano - you should have seen it coming, seeing as you drive on the right) and after 3 Nottsborough players had attempted to hack him down, to no whistle from Mr Foy, the referee decided that he'd blow up for the one tackle where the ball was actually won - Richardson sithed the forward down and smashed the ball clear in the process - a good tackle in my opinion (but what do I know about tackling, I'm a centre forward....or am I?) and much to Notts' bewilderment, Foy pointed to the spot - the first ludicrous decision of many. Alleyns converted (Whitey's shot stopping ability is simply not as good as Young Tom's) - 2-0 Alleyns.
This was not going to plan.....eventually the Notts team kicked into gear and all across the park we started to exert a bit of dominance. Nick was winning ball in the centre of the park - (to those of you who don't know Nick - he is an aggressive centre midfielder, with which I enjoy a weekly spat, otherwise known as Greeny - Webbo - I hope your taking notes), O'Brien and Briggs were seeing more of the ball and it was starting to stick a bit better up top. Webby was pulling the strings from right back and created a couple of opportunities - putting in Taylor and then Jacobs in down the right hand channel.
Eventually Notts made a deserved breakthrough - Webby got his head up and picked out JT with a good pass from the right hand side, and the second hand Ferrari took the ball down nicely and crashed his shot in off the scrambling Alleyns defender - 2-1.
Notts continued to control possession until half time and we went into the break with one eye on a comeback - literally in O'Briens case.
In the second half Notts came out firing and Alleyns were camped in their own half, having to resort to counter attack, unfortunately they were set up well to do so and in our eagerness to draw level we were caught out from a quick breakaway goal - 3-1 Alleyns and we were back to square one.
Notts had to pick themselves up again and the contest was really heating up - so much so that Andy Lea picked up a shoulder injury trying to smash his way through an Alleyns forward and on came Joe 'Ato' Boldon with Pilcher slotting in at centre back. Richardson was subbed for Mr consistent Eamo Collins - who was back in the fold and outside in the light for the first time in a couple of weeks since his GF had been shipped in from wherever she comes from.
The ploy worked and Eamo began to win plenty of aerial battles and exert some pressure down the left flank. A further tactical shuffle from the malnourished Johhny Briggs saw O'Brien replaced by Bowman, who had spent most of his day missing trains in Reading and now Notts really were taking the game by the scruff of the neck.
Alleyns couldn't get out of their half and Notts were getting the ball in the box from both flanks - Suddenly Webbo surged down the right had side and fired in a great low ball into the box - the Alleyns defenders couldn't handle it and it ricocheted off the centre backs legs and into the net - 3-2 and the comeback was back on.
Notts kept pressing and with Briggo now in the middle with Greeny - ball retention was good and chances were being created. JT found himself in the area only to be blatantly tripped by the Alleyns defender - a howl of penalty appeals ensued - only to be waived away by Foy - how on earth it wasn't a penalty only he will know. Then unbelievably - lightening struck twice (which is about as rare feat as John Grant making two consecutive games) and Notts were denied another clear penalty after Jacobs was taken down in the box - it seemed things weren't going to go Notts' way - but such is the steel of the table topping 2's that this only spurred them on.
Again JT found himself in the danger area - and for no apparent reason, other than the fact that the referee was a total berk, Foy blew his whistle and pointed to the spot - even the Alleyns boys didn't appeal against the decision as we had been so obviously robbed only moments before. Pilcher sprinted from the halfway line and picked up the ball, showing great intent to take the penalty himself, much to the concern of his teammates, only to be shot down by JT who calmly plucked the ball from him, put it on the spot and converted nicely. 3-3!!
What a comeback! Against all odds and a dubious referee, Notts were back in it. The Alleyns lads looked shot and our superior fitness levels were coming into play - With seconds to go Bowman picked up the ball on the left hand side and ran at the right back, turned, then laid it off to Eamo who dinked a lovely ball, inch perfect onto the head of Jacobs who, doing his best to miss it, nodded the ball home from a yard out and the ball nestled in the top corner! 4-3 Notts! A last minute winner! The lads went wild and rightly so - they had pulled off a great comeback and secured another 3 points - making it 27 points from a possible 30 - leaving them 6 points clear at the top of the table. Thank those lucky stars for Ben Hughes!
MOTM: A great team performance so hard to pick one - Greeny had a great game, getting all over the park and consistently winning the ball, Webbo made two goals and had a solid performance at right back and JT bagged another brace and held the ball up well up top - so I'll give it to all three - Greeny, JT & Webbo.
Team: Whitey, Webb, Mitic, Lea (Holden), Richardson (Eamo), O’Brien (Bowman), Briggs ©, Pilcher, Green, Jacobs, Taylor
Carshalton Res 0 Nottsborough Res 3 SAL Intermediate League Saturday 3rd December 2011
Bouncebackability 2’s Style
Nottsborough 2’s arrived in Carshalton with a bit between their teeth and a point to prove to the league and themselves. Arguably the disappointing first defeat of 2011/12 campaign could have (and should have) been avoided but nevertheless the determination to right last week’s wrongs was palpable and the kick up the ass the team needed after some lack lustre performances which the results weren’t showing. Carshalton’s league position was a sign of lack of consistency vs. lack of talent so Nottsborough knew more of the same complacency here would lead to trouble. And the game went exactly as el capitano and all of the two supporters would have wanted. Despite passages of minor dominance from Carshalton, Nottsborough led the pace and tempo all afternoon and walked away deserving 3 nil victors.
And this was no mean feat after having to play the majority of the game with 10 men as the normally rock solid JT chose this Saturday to aimlessly wander around the field like a sheep dog with no sheep to herd. His team mate’s only actually became aware that he was on the pitch when he was entangled in a manoeuvre with their centre ‘arf that I’m sure I’d seen Savage do on Strictly! To this day no one knows what JT did to rile this athletic chap. I could take a wild guess, but I won’t.
So the game started well for the Nottsborough lads with some early dominance, but little in terms of chances. Solid start at the back from both Lea and Mitic who dealt very well with many high swirling balls down their throat (all those nights practicing in KazBar paid off). The breakthrough came after a great passage of play down the right including a centre mid (I can’t remember), O’Brien and potentially Webby. Either way it led to a Briggs corner whipped in hard and fast and within the melee, big Deano rose and met it only to see it head straight for the keeper who could only push it away into the path of the fortunate Rikard who continued his charge goal wards and nodded it home past a busy goal line. 1-0.
Not 10 mins later scaletrix Jacobs who spent the day on a track anything but linear edged in front of his tubby marker to meet a well measured O’Brien cross from the right for a neat half-volley finish top right. 2-0. HT. Bouncebackability.
After a HT chat that was full of positives and rightly so, Nottsborough came out with a spring in their step and a desire to kill the game off asap. As you’d expect Carshalton began to apply the pressure as they tried to get back into the game. With a new challenge of the wind the Nottsborough defence found themselves under the cosh, especially down the left as Carshalton tried to exploit their stronger players. However Webby who had a solid day at RB was up to the challenge. As the hour approached and before Captain Briggs had the chance to finalise his tactical changes, Prosser took what can only be described as a howler of the touch down the left wing and what ensued was a 40m sprint between him and Carshalton’s centre half, and a crunching tackle that unfortunately left Prosser crocked. The forced change brought Green into centre mid, Briggs out right with Rory switching flanks and the change was seamless. Nottsborough began to turn the tide back in their favour and as Carshalton chased the game the inevitable holes began to appear at the back.
With a good 20 left on the clock and the game anything but secure at 2-0; on came Super Ted Datta for Pilcher. It was the long awaited return of the ex2s steady man and we all thought we could have waited a little longer based on his first touch which gave the ball straight back to the opponents in the middle of the park after being put under absolutely zero pressure. But he found his groove and as Notts continued to open up the overweight Carshalton defence another missed chance by JT fell to Datta around the penalty spot and despite his best efforts to miss it the ball dribbled into the side netting. 3-0. Game over.
Special mention to Beckett who stepped in between the sticks and his ability and confidence made a big difference to the back 4’s performance and a few crucial stopped shots kept Notts in a comfortable position.
All in all and solid afternoon and a lot of positives to build on for what will be a tricky affair away on Sat. We all left wondering how a shiny silver Audi TT like Rory O’Brien could have ever survived in parking lot full of Vauxhall Novas.
And then onto the xmas social… if I could remember it I’d write about it. But safe to stay the 2s have the best banter, team spirit and together’ness within Nottsborough FC. 3 cheers….
Johnny.. Johnny Briggs… Johnny.. Johnny Briggs… Johnny.. Johnny Briggs…
MOTM: Me… Deano! Kept tubs in his pocket all afternoon and consistently dealt with the swirling high balls very well.
Team: Beckett, Webb, Mitic, Lea, Richardson, O’Brien, Briggs ©, Pilcher (Datta), Prosser (Green), Jacobs, Taylor
Nottsborough 2 – HAC 2 (Nottsborough win 5-3 on pens) Saturday 19th November 2011
AFA Surrey/Kent Intermediate Cup 1st Round
A win is a win – or is it a draw?!
Another week, another competition but the same outcome for the 2’s as they made it eleven wins on the bounce albeit via the drama of penalties.
HAC proved tough and stubborn opponents for Nottsborough throughout 120minutes. Flying high in their side of the AFA league system, the match was a closely fought contest which marked the start of a tricky set of fixtures prior to the Christmas break for Notts.
The opening exchanges were evenly contested with both sets of players enjoying decent periods of possession without finding the final pass to create chances on goal. Webb enjoyed a good tussle with the left winger with both leaving a mark on each other and the tussle sparked a tag team of late challenges from Briggs and Pilcher to emphasise the team spirit amongst the Notts players.
On a rare occasion when HAC did manage to get in behind the Notts defence, onrushing Tom in goal cleaned out the striker and covering defender Lea. The Lea sandwich resulted in a serious looking shoulder injury for the Notts man, who had to be substituted. Rolfe entered the fray and after a period out himself, used all of his experience to settle the back line in an overall impressive display.
It was Nottsborough who looked the more likely to score though, with Rory and JT running the channels well and threatening the back line with a few combinations which just failed to come off. Indeed a good move in midfield led to an accurate through ball for Taylor who cooly slotted past the keeper.
In fairness to HAC, after the goal they kept playing and were getting a lot of joy from crosses into the box and set pieces in particular. Prior to halftime, a cross from the left was deflected onto the crossbar by Mitic and out for a corner. From the resultant set piece HAC had the ball in the net – but the referees correctly disallowed the goal for a push. Nottsborough failed to heed the warning and two minutes later Nottsborough again failed to attack a corner and the ball was bundled home.
After a half time chat Notts and baring in mind the pre-match talk of keeping a clean sheet, Nottsborough again conceded sloppily within the opening exchanges of the half. A lofted (hoofed) ball out the right was brought down by the full back who found the striker, who fired in at the near post after outmuscling Prosser.
Nottsborough lifted themselves again and enjoyed good possession but failed to find break through. Notts luck turned after a third HAC player went off injured, and without any subs left, were down to 10men with 30mins to play. Notts back line was able to push higher and dictate the flow of the Game, Mitic in particular bringing the ball out of defence with some intelligent passes. Briggs tactical nouse again kicked in and bravely sacrificed himself for Fynes to enter the pitch.
Switching to centre midfield Pilcher began to impose himself on the game and Green looked dangerous with some intricate though balls unlucky not to lead to more. Not for the first time in recent weeks, a Briggs replacement was to find the back of the next, as the midfield combined well to find Taylor down the right whose cross found Fynes at the far post to score well from a tight angle.
Despite Nottsborough best efforts and dominating possession, chances were limited to freekicks and speculative efforts as an organised HAC defended well. Taylor headed a chance wide at the end to win it, whilst Tom remained concentrated to make a smart save from a rare HAC counter attack at the death leaving the match to go to extra time.
Again despite their dominance and possession, Nottsborough just couldn’t break through and the game was to be decided on penalties. Rory, Holden, Taylor, Green and Pilcher kept their nerve with good penalties, whilst there was a popular miss from the HAC centre half whose best attribute was to avoid getting booked throughout the 120minutes.
Nottsborough deservedly though on the balance of play, and the post match discussion then centred on whether the match counted as a win or if Notts were simply through the tie. What can definitely be concluded is that Nottsborough are in the hat for the next round and HAC are not – and therefore a win is a win, including when it’s a draw, and that is eleven wins and counting for Briggo’s brigade.
MOM: Mitic - a composed display throughout and allowed Nottsborough to attack and press freely without fear when it was 11 vs 10.
Team: Tom B, Eamo, Webb, Lea (Rolfe), Mitic, Green, Pilcher, Briggs (Fynes), Prosser (Holden), Taylor, Rory.
Nottsborough Res 2 Old Vaughanians 1 12th November 2011
Up for the Cup… Or not…
With a virile performance away to Salesians still fresh in the memory, Nottsborough arrived at Tolworth with a bit of a swagger. And then, for the second time in three weeks, massively failed to deliver, making heavy work of overcoming a very average Old Vaughanians side. Up for the cup? Not quite. More like thumbing in a floppy and hoping for the best.
Bizarrely, it had all started so well when, with just two minutes on the clock, Collins bagged his first and potentially last of the season with a crisp left-foot finish following smart build-up play from Prosser and Briggs. Ten minutes later Briggs doubled the advantage, demonstrating excellent technique to slam home a difficult volley following a clever scooped pass over the top from Green.
At this stage Nottsborough were dominating possession however failed to keep it up. A combination of impatience, complacency and a bizarre series of substitutions from the away side left Nottsborough struggling to find any rhythm. Shortly before half-time it got even worse as poor communication and positioning let their striker through on goal where he duly rounded White and squared to a team-mate for a simple tap-in.
During the interval Briggs rightly castigated everyone for their lethargy and collective lack of hunger. With harsh words still ringing in their ears Nottsborough started the second half brightly, with Jacobs forcing the opposition keeper into a good save following a powerful surge down the channel. However, just as the home team seemed to finding their groove they shot themselves in the foot once more when a routine punt down the middle saw more confusion between the back-line and White, enabling their centre-forward to nip in and glance home a scarcely deserved equalizer.
By this point Briggs had seen enough and brought on Kennedy and Bowman to shake things up. With the former adding some much needed height to the middle of the park, Nottsborough started to pin Old Vaughanians in and to a large extent controlled the final thirty minutes albeit without ever coming close to scoring.
However, with extra-time looming Nottsborough put together their best move of the game with White starting a counter-attack that saw Webb, Kennedy and Green all combine to put Jacobs through on goal. His cutback from the by-line was perfect leaving a labouring O’Brien with a simple header from two yards to secure a barely merited victory that whilst welcome, should not gloss over Nottsborough’s inadequacies on the day.
Cup games at this stage of the season can be an unwanted distraction from the main prize, but there’s no excusing such poor preparation or attitude from a team who has aspirations of picking up silverware this season. If Friday night tear-ups are repeated this week the unbeaten run will surely come to a shuddering halt, as a bunch of table-topping, fit army boys will no doubt prove tougher opposition than in previous rounds.
MOTM: Prosser – like the proverbial fine wine he gets better with age and goes down easily.
White – Webb, Lea, Richardson, Nimmo (Kennedy) – Briggs © (Bowman), Collins, Green, Prosser – O’Brien, Jacobs
Salesians 2 Nottsborough 3 12th November 2011
Within the 2s Showroom, these days, is an enviable mix of in vogue and vintage motor vehicles….. JT purrs away like a newly purchased Ferrari at one end, while the ’67 Lea Cadillac at the other can be heard jockeying opponents from behind with the heavy, staccato breathing patterns of an overly competitive Dad clinging on to his remaining days of sporting superiority. Different vehicles for different parts of the journey.
Worryingly, a mysterious rambler has been seen lurking in the bushes, and peering through the polished glass of the 2s Showroom in recent weeks. Wielding a list of people who haven’t paid their subs, and a Lonely Planet Guide to Inappropriately Timed Ski Holidays, the Movember poster boy has been taking time out of his busy schedule of winning trophies to take stolen glances at cars he turned down at previous auctions. Having completed his pet project of slashing the tires of the Richardson Ford Escort over an unpaid MOT dispute, the next job on the horizon seems to be the car jacking of our prized Ferrari. Flirtatious emails, and metaphorically rubbing a hand up an inner thigh, under the table of the well staffed Goals bar, will only get a man so far. Sadly, we’ll be powerless to prevent the car keys being taken by force, so we look forward to welcoming Al Ewin to the fold in the January transfer window.
On Saturday, the rich and varied 2s convoy of classic and contemporary cars, including our prized Ferrari, drove into Old Salesians to parade in front of an opposition who had seemingly turned up on a mix of stolen BMXs, and jacked up, uninsured beamers, with Westwood blaring out of the speakers. It was going to be quite the soiree. Two unbeaten teams, two points apart.
But there was more on the proverbial line than just three crucial points on the road to Winnersville. Johnny Briggs needed this…he has nothing else. Literally. Nothing. Demoted from pretend MD to genuine nobody at work, if he doesn’t pull this season off, then Andy Lea won’t pick him again. In the words of JLS, he’s only got one shot. The Vauxhall Corsa of the team (popular and respected through the eyes of the noughtie’s student, but ultimately looked at in retrospect as a bit shabby) Briggo started off the game in his newly created position of quarter-back – standing so far off the play that he neither needs to get involved in it, or get caught out by it. But a positional approach that has added a decade onto Becks’ career looks like it might add at least another month onto Briggo’s, as he stroked some delicious balls into dangerous positions from deep, in a first half which reminded Nottsboro that we are capable of greatness when the time calls.
In the first 30 minutes, a midfield cavalcade of Jacobs, Green, Pilcher, and Briggs set the tone; mixing fluid passing football in possession, with organisational discipline without the ball. Complimented by intelligent running into the channels by the Audi TT O’Brien (Stylish, desirable, but ultimately affordable by even the lowest rung of middle manager), and Taylor leading the line up top, Notts’ pressing felt like it would be rewarded sooner rather than later, and around the 25 minute mark it was - JT finishing with aplomb, as he cut it from the right, and planted his angled shot into the left corner of the onion bag.
Old Salesians, to their credit, continued to threaten by switching the ball from flank to flank, and their wingers got some dangerous balls into the box, having forced the Nottsboro full backs into over-committing on occasion. “Over-committing” can mean many things in life… drinking your 6th pint on a ‘Code Red’ pre-match Friday, agreeing to a spa weekend between Aug and May…..In this instance, “over-committing” refers to completing a Missing Person’s Report for your AWOL left midfielder. The Scalectrix Jacobs is a quite remarkable vehicle that was only designed to go forwards, and occasionally stalls off the tracks when reaching maximum speed.
Fortunately, the Volvo Estate Collins (a safe and versatile wagon that you’d trust to take your eldest Gran mother to the local shops, or your youngest sister to school, without either getting inappropriately touched) anticipated the danger in front of him more often than not. On the adjacent flank, Avis Rent a Car Webb (you never know what you’re going to get until you get to the parking lot, but over the years you keep going back to re-book because the customer service was so darn good) looked comfortable, and if Collins or the latter were ever pulled out of position the defence collectively cleaned up the mess, restricting any real threat on Tom White’s goal during the remainder of the first half.
This season, White has had to deal with the often forgotten struggles of a keeper in a successful side – prolonged periods of quietude, punctuated by infrequent passages of play that plunge you back into action to make that big save out of the cold. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang White’s big moment came with 20 or so minutes to go, but he failed to get a hand to a well-drilled shot from outside the area after a composed knock-down from the Old Salesians’ No 10. There wasn’t much he could do, such was the ferocity of the finish.
By this point in the game, Richardson, Prosser, and Grant had all joined the action, as Briggs had been leaking petrol for some time, Webb was sweating oil everywhere, and Jacobs couldn’t be reconnected to the track.
Having been pinned back to 1-1, the 2s continued to play with composure, and spirit against a home side who had celebrated their equaliser as if they’d just heard that there was a clearance sale at JJB and they’d all been invited. This was turning into the type of game that would have local radio commentators’ describing the clash as a ‘ding-dong derby’, and it wasn’t too clear as to which side was going to come out on top. Had the ever-reliable Ferrari Taylor not uncharacteristically stalled at the start of the second half, the game could have been out of sight, and Notts would rue this on 80 mins.
A searching ball over the top of the defence had Herbie Mitic on the back foot, with 3 options seemingly available to him: thrash the ball out for a corner, hook it away for a throw-in, or execute an over-kick to send the ball back where it came. Herbie chose option 4 – miscue over-head kick with failed athleticism, land on your batsun, and take the pace out of the ball for the on-running striker. In a yet to be made Disney classic, Herbie met Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, when Mitic’s error was followed by White being convincingly rounded to put Salesians’ 2-1 to the good. Cue tops-off celebrations akin the fall of Gaddafi.
Every great team can look back retrospectively on their season of triumph and highlight the moments that defined their success. And while it may be a little early to label this a season of success – the trophy cabinet does still remains bare at this stage in any campaign – if we do deliver this year, what ensued in the final moments of this game will live in the memory forever. After Taylor was dragged down in the box, and brushed himself down to stroke an equalising penalty home past a motionless keeper, memories were made.
Of the many new arrivals for the 2011-2012 season, view on John Grant were split: was this a Bentley good enough for the 1s, or a highly competent Vauxhall Cavalier with the inherent capability of mixing winning 2s titles with pulling tarts out of the Clapham Grand? Having avoided the odd game for a boozy jaunt up North, the 2s legal team was quickly building up quite the case for the latter, as Grant warmed up on the sidelines without showing any genuine desire to come on. Not out of disinterest, but of putting the team first. For the good of our season, as we have mentioned, the engine once again had fallen out of the Briggs Corsa towards the end of the second half with petrol leaking everywhere, and Grant stepped into the action. With a sheet hiding what car he was actually in, Grant seemed to be in an unfamiliar centre midfield role, complementing the Buccaneer 2-berth caravan that Nick Green had been towing around for almost a decade.
As time ran out, the ageless and pristine MG Prosser made in-roads down the left, before giving the ball to the Buccaneer 2-berth who squared a cross-field path to Grant on the edge of the area who was impeded from having a first time shot by the referee in front of him. Steadying himself, the sheet covering Grant exposed a motor of magnitude we hadn’t expected, as he faded to shoot before coming inside the defender….more of the sheet began to fall off as time seemingly stood still…..further glints of shining metal…….he pulls back his left to hit a shot across the keeper….John Grant was at the wheel of Knightrider!!!!!!!!!!! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!
Unbelievable scenes! Unbelievable scenes! “Fking have that!” purred the Ferrari, the Buccaneer 2-berth doors flapping madly in the wind, as a car pile up in the centre of the opposition’s half bore malice from Old Salesians. Pilcher riding in to the sea of glory on a Boris Bike tooting his horn, and throwing confetti out of his basket, while Mitic was frantically searching for his Get Out of Jail Free card from the boot…
A really glorious end to a truly wonderful game. JOYOUS!
Team: White; Webb (Richardson), Mitic, Lea, Collins; Briggs © (Grant), Green, Pilcher, Jacobs (Prosser); Taylor, O’Brien
MoM: In what was a sterling team performance, I’m going with John Grant. Seasons turn on moments of genius, and the winning goal may just be one of those moments.
Nottsborough 5 Old Actonians 1 Saturday October 15th 2011
Leaning Tower of Lea: but there is even beauty in the imperfection of Nottsborough twos’ renaissance
Schoolboy error, keystone cop moment of madness, total meltdown, absolute shambles, work of genius? Call it what you will, I cannot begin to do justice to what can only be described as a moment of beautiful, yet comical, folly that saw Andy Lea balancing the ball - in a manner almost reminiscent of a seal with a beach balloon - on his chest and walking it in to his own net. A quite bizarre incident that takes its place in the pantheon of Nottsborough defensive calamities. Fortunately, however, this was the only blot on Nottsborough’s copy book in an otherwise routine home win.
On yet another sunny autumn day at Fortress Tolworth, Notts arrived in fine fettle with the changing room chat magnificently juxtaposing laddish banter and in depth discussion of current affairs; nothing less than one would expect from a club with undoubtedly the biggest social conscience in the league. However, out on the pitch again Notts didn’t exactly bust out of the blocks, but were into their stride more quickly than last week. The first action of note took place around the 10-minute mark as Andy Rich put a snapshot just wide on the turn following a knock down off a Briggs / Green corner.
The back line looked untroubled with Hickes enjoying his return from injury during a very accomplished performance at right back, Lea was marshalling his troops well and John was over his horror-show miss and winning plenty of ball and distributing well. Andy Rich continued in the left back berth and looked every inch the ex-semi-pro. In the middle trophy-less skipper Briggs flew into his usual quota of Peperami man challenges while Green was pulling strings, keeping the ball moving and picking some probing passes. One such ball slid in Prosser for the first shot on target that the Actionians keeper spilled but unfortunately no Notts striker was in the vicinity to finish off. The home side were now starting to get the ball earlier to wide men Prosser and Holden leading to some openings and Joe Holden uncharacteristically was also winning headers for fun.
With Notts starting to find some rhythm the first goal was not long in coming: James Taylor coolly placing a header in to the side netting off a beautifully flighted right wing cross from Hickes to open the account. The second followed with a bullet header from Paul Jacobs from another right wing cross. 2-0 Notts at half time.
Having not long stung Actonians’ keeper’s hands with a left foot drive, OP - resplendent in new white boots - then opened his account for the season prodding through an onrushing keeper’s legs from a JT assist.
Briggs then rang the changes with a treble substitution. Rory, Eamo and Pilch entered the fray for Green, Joe H and Hickes with Deano the unfortunate man who remained unused. Rory had an instant impact, checking back on to his right foot and producing a deep cross from the left; Paul needed no second invitation to finish at the back stick to double his tally for the day to a brace.
There was still time for a super effort on the volley from JT after the move of the game and a second airshot in three weeks from Rory. But all of this paled in comparison to the aforementioned ‘Andy Lea moment’.
To put the gloss back on proceedings and take Notts to 5, Andy Rich despite having his ‘ligaments gone’ made a gut-busting dash to the left by-line from and stood up a left footed cross which Pilch slammed home from close range to continue his rich goalscoring form.
So it finished 5-1 and in honesty it was mission accomplished against a team who, if they were a girl, would be a prime target for Matthew Nimmo so low were their levels of confidence and self belief. So the twos continue their 100% start to the season, but they don’t hand out trophies in October – unfortunately for beleaguered captain Briggo – and bigger tests are to come; starting with Civil Service next week.
TEAM:
White, Hickes (Collins), Lea, Grant, Richardson, Holden (O’ Brien), Green (Pilcher), Briggs, Prosser, Taylor, Jacobs.
GOALS:
Notts - Jacobs (2), Taylor, Prosser, Pilcher.
Actonians – Lea (o.g.)
MOM:
JT. One goal. One assist. One stonewall pen denied. (I think) one goal disallowed. Linked up the play well, Actonians could not handle him all day and gets better each week so my Man of the Match.
Nottsborough 4 Polytechnic 1 Saturday October 8th 2011
NOTTSBOROUGH GRANT JOHN REPRIEVE
John Grant’s early contender for miss of the season was forgiven but not forgotten as Nottsborough produced an emphatic second half comeback to move top of the league.
Goals from David Howsen, Rory O'Brien, Rich Pilcher and Nick Green overturned Polytechnic’s 1-0 lead after a lacklustre first half saw Notts fall behind for the first time this season.
Notts created the first opportunity of the game from a deep Johnny Briggs set-piece. James Taylor rising highest to crash a header against the post before Grant fluffed his lines from the rebound, slicing wide with the goal at his mercy.
But it was Polytechnic who took the lead from a well worked break that was beautifully curled into the top corner by their striker with Notts still appealing for an offside in the build-up. Fresh from their 7-0 cup win the previous week, Poly did not play like a team sitting bottom of the league. The visitors looked comfortable on the ball and full of confidence as they exposed Notts’ inability to deal with players playing between the lines. Poly’s deep-lying midfielder dictated much of their play and their most advanced midfielder continually found space in dangerous positions.
Notts came out for the second half with a much higher line and with Poly’s players now struggling to find time on the ball their defence became stretched. Nick Green and Eamonn Collins linked up well on the right before the latter picked out Howsen at the far post to control and slot home for his first goal of the season.
Moments later Howsen’s burst down the left and dangerous cross caused confusion in the box before finding its way through to O’Brien to fire home the second. Notts continued to pour forward and added a third on 70 minutes when Green’s shot across goal was turned home by a definitely onside Pilcher.
Briggs replaced the hard working trio of Taylor, Howsen and Collins with Andy Lea, Owen Prosser and Paul Jacobs and all were quickly into the thick of the action. Lea popped up in unusual territory on the left of the box and was only halted by a last ditch tackle. While Jacobs grabbed an assist when his shot from a tight angle was saved and deflected into the path of the onrushing Green to slam home his third goal of the season.
An encouraging response to going a goal down and a fifth straight victory for Nottsborough. The Briggs Bandwagon marches on!
MOM - The referee’s nonsensical babble about the San Siro and passionate crowd had many players scratching their heads in disbelief. So did the decision to award Briggs MOM…
Southgate County 1 Nottsborough 3 Saturday October 1st 2011
Compared with the team that limped over the finishing line at the end of last season, Nottsborough 2s arrived in sunny Cockfosters with a spring in their step after an encouraging start to the season. With new additions Grant, Taylor and O’Brien adding quality throughout the spine of the side, Messrs Briggs and Green had options all over the park and a difficult decision to make when choosing the starting XI. Gone are the days when Mitic, Richardson or a 16 year-old schoolboy had to fill in as an emergency centre-forward.
After a strong result the previous week, Briggs chose to retain the core of the team that won at Winchmore Hill with only Grant, Harvey and Howson replacing the missing Prosser, Lea and Holden. On a deceptively tricky surface Nottsborough struggled to find their rhythm early on with Taylor and Collins both guilty of surrendering possession cheaply. However with midfield trio Green, Pilcher and Howson starting to get a grip of the game, Nottsborough settled and started to carve out some chances.
Taylor sent a volley whistling past the far post after some good link-up play between Collins and O’Brien whist some questionable offside decisions thwarted both O’Brien and Taylor as they looked to run through on goal. With Harvey showing impressive attacking instincts at full-back Nottsborough continued to press and following a quick break down the right, O’Brien picked out Pilcher at the back post who arrived on cue to thump a header beyond the keeper far a well-deserved first goal of the season.
Green and Howson combined well down the left shortly after forcing a fine stop from the home team goalkeeper. As half-time approached Mitic and Grant did well to read a quick ball over the top and Nottsborough reached the interval very much in control.
During the break Captain Briggs accentuated the positives but stressed the need to keep the tempo up and to push for a second goal. Unfortunately just like with his Marston client through the week, Briggs found his advice fall on deaf ears as Southgate grabbed an equalizer shortly after the restart. A split second of indecision between the goalkeeper and Mitic and Grant allowed the opposition striker to nip in and finish with a clever lob.
To their credit Nottsborough rallied and soon carved out chances for Taylor, Green, O’Brien and Howson. Unlike the week before, Nottsborough were not at their clinical best and despite numerous opportunities and lots of possession entered the closing stages with the game very much in the balance. With ten minutes to go the breakthrough finally arrived when Taylor rose to meet an excellent corner from Briggs to bullet a header past the keeper and the defender standing on the line.
As Southgate committed more men to attack Nottsborough duly applied the ‘coup de grace’ with Pilcher bagging his second goal of the game with a dipping volley from 30 yards. With the game seemingly over Southgate then put together their best move of the game and only a magnificent last-ditch tackle from Collins and an equally good save from young Tom prevented Southgate from setting up a nervy finish.
In the end a well-deserved victory although over a post-match meal of beef stew and a side dish masquerading as potato wedges, the general consensus was that Nottsborough had perhaps made heavy weather of it. With impressive numbers at training, competition for places has never been stronger - a league title has to be the minimum target for the season.
TEAM: Tom – Harvey (Briggs), Mitic, Grant, Webb (Richardson) – Collins, Green, Pilcher, Howson – Taylor, O’Brien
MOTM: Rich Pilcher – two goals and another excellent all-round performance to carry on his impressive early season form
Winchmore Hill 0 Nottsborough 5 Saturday 17th September 2011
The 2's recorded a second successive healthy away win with a rampant period of football in the half hour leading up to half time. Really joyous stuff. The game started fairly evenly with Notts doing well in the initial period but then struggling to get to grips with a winchmore side playing 5 in midfield. Both teams were finding it difficult to get the ball down & play for first 20 on a smallish pitch. Notts only really settled into our game once we’d gone ahead from a quickly taken short corner. Stand in dead ball specialist Nick Green exchanged passes with the reincarnation of Joe Holden & then hit a fierce drive across the box that went straight in.
Notts then played some really excellent football & at a high tempo from here until half time. The second goal came soon after with Rich Pilcher & Joe Holden working 2’s debutant Rory O’Brian into the right-hand side channel. His deep cross evaded the Winchmore back line for Green coming in at the far post to take it down & hit a left foot shot high into the roof of the net. A Cantona-esque celebration ensued which some seemed to mistake for surprise that the shot had actually gone in. 2-0 after 25mins. The rest of the half Notts looked very assured at the back & like we would score every time we went forward. The inevitable third goal came from a long ball over the top for James Taylor to chase, the winchmore keeper getting there just first but missing his kick & allowing James to tap the ball home. The 4th goal quickly followed from a deep Green corner nodded back across the box by Andy Leah & finished emphatically by Rory O’Brian after Rich Pilcher had initially had a good effort saved well by the Winchmore Keeper. More good football from Notts & the 5th goal of a pulsating half was put away from a James Taylor header after a sweeping Notts move just before half-time. 5-0 at half time & a fair reflection on Notts total dominance after the first goal went in.
The second half unsurprisingly did not quite manage to live up to the highs of the first half, despite any number of “still 0-0” clichés delivered during the half time team talk. Winchmore defiantly upped their game & it took a more concentred effort from the back line to keep up the proud record of no goals conceded yet this year. Deano & Any Leah put in a number of good challenges with Tom white claiming a few good crosses having had very little to do in the first half. Eamon Collins & Simon ‘Terry Butcher’ Webb were both solid at full back. Alex Harvey came on with 30mins to go to make his league debut and also did well. Notts tired a little on a hot day but still played some good stuff and created several further good moves/chances but never quite managed to finish them off. Joe Holden & Owen Prosser looked dangerous on the flanks throughout & if Notts had been a bit more clinical in the second half it could have been quite an embarrassing score line for Winchmore.
Good individual performances all round. James Taylor is looking better with each game & Rory made up a complimentary strike partnership. Joe & Owen were both looking a threat on the wings, especially pleasing to see Joseph Ato Bolden back to somewhere near his pre yachting wknd best.
Team: White, Webb, Mitic, Lea, Collins, Holden (Harvey), Green, Pilcher, Prosser, Taylor, O’Brian.
Goals: Green (2), Taylor (2), O’ Brian.
Nottsborough 1 Alleyn Old Boys 0 Saturday 10th September 2011
“Greatest Ever” (trophy-less) captain – begins new campaign with a win
Over the past few weeks Colonel Gaddafi has sat, holed up in a bunker, and contemplated whether to surrender or bow out in a bloody last goodbye. As the rebel alliance flooded into Tripoli, new recruits flooded through the gates of Tolworth every Tuesday night of August, and skipper Briggs empathised with Gaddafi’s predicament.... to surrender after a trophy-less first season, or to stick to ones beliefs and lead the 2s for another campaign.
The decision was simple – if Briggs wasn’t captain it is unlikely he would get a game for the twos, so he persisted.
The first game was a difficult encounter at home to Alleyn Old boys. A much improved opposition relative to last season, a sloping pitch and a gale force wind.
Notts waved goodbye to two seasoned pros in pre-season, Grover and Morris, and although Grover’s mild(ish) racism and Morris’ incessant, illegible ranting would not be missed, their leadership and footballing abilities no-doubt will be. It was up to a bunch of quiet, measured footballers to find the necessary testosterone to fill the void.
At the back for Notts, Bally was selected at full back following a gutsy performance throughout club day. John Grant made his debut in defence, and Paul and JT made up a new look attack. Notts also welcomed Prosser back from a gap year and waved goodbye to Matthew Green. After just one profligate season, he will not be missed.
In the first half, as the wind howled, Nottsborough struggled to exert any level of pressure on the Alleyn defence. The midfield paring of Briggs and Green struggled to get to grips with the three of Alleyns and the service to the forwards from the entire team was inaccurate and sloppy. Defensively, however, the team worked hard, and Lea and John (aided by the excellent Cootes in goal) propelled any occasional cross that Alleyns managed to sneak past the industrious Richardson and Ball.
In the second half things began to heat up. Hughes replaced JT and Felcher moved into central midfield to ensure that headers began to be won and the forwards finally received some service to feet. Notts began to take control of the game and on the hour mark an excellent Felching cross was gleefully buried by new man Paul. An excellent acquisition from Briggs, who would have Brian worried for his job, had Beckett not already secured the role following a phenomenal summer of admin.
As the match wore on Alleyns started to increase the pressure. In the ten minutes between 70 and 80 Richardson had a melt-down. Selling Cootes short before committing two fouls within the space of a minute. It is said that all genius’ have a tinge of madness about them, it is a shame there isn’t such an adage applied to lower middle management at retail media groups, in which case Richardson’s ten minutes could be excused.
As the final whistle went three points were gleefully accepted. Gadaffi hangs on, as does Briggs.
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